"I bought myself a parrot that could talk, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died."--Mitch Hedberg
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Sunday, June 12, 2005

He liiiives

Well, now that finals are over, school's out, and I have absolutely nothing to do, I figured I could always turn to the blog for guidance, since the TV has let me down (Why do they show all of the crappy stuff during the summer?).

I want to help you guys get to know me a little bit better. And I can't think of any better way to sum up my life than with this segment from Reno 911:

Dengle: I thought there used to be school.
Dengle: I thought children used to go to school.
Junior: Nope. Not anymore.
Dengle: Apparently not anymore.
Junior: Nope.
Dengle: Apparently not anymore.
Junior: Nope.
Dengle: Now we drive around and they play, Grand Theft Auto, and they...get on the crackpipe at 4, and they’re...working for Wal-Mart.
Junior: Mama’s in the basement doin’ phone sex--
Dengle: Oh, phone sex.
Junior: --for eight bucks an hour, Dad’s in the garage cookin’ up meth--
Dengle: --playin’ Grand Theft Auto--
Junior: --callin’ some OTHER women on the damn phone sex.
Dengle: Yeah, in some OTHER basement...comin’ down offa meth.
Junior: A web of *beep*in’...evil.
Dengle: This is the worst country in the world.

Thank you.

And good night.

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