"I bought myself a parrot that could talk, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died."--Mitch Hedberg
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Thursday, October 06, 2005

Good Sex, Bad Lex? Part I


I love Smallville. The WB's teen action drama tells the story of a young Superman (aka Clark Kent) growing up in Smallville, gaining new powers and saving the day way more often than a high school freshman should have to. The show got off to a good start in its first season, and only got better with each season, culminating in the near-perfection that was season 3. However, season 4 was a bit...well, rocky, should we say? Let me put it this way: throughout the four years that this show has been on (it's currently on it's fifth season), out of all my friends and everybody that I know who watches or did watch the show at one point, I am the only person I know who stuck with the show through season 4.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. It was almost as if the writers realized that it was their last year to do stories set in the high school so they just through out any good plot ideas they had and went for mediocre, freakoftheweek-sexy-dance-football episodes. Plot inconsistencies and overall stupidities plagued the fourth season to the point where many accused the show of "jumping the shark," a phrase which here means "to stop being creative and excellent and decline in quality and performance." Anyone catch that reference? No? Fine. But I digress, mainly because I love saying that phrase because it just sounds so damn cool.

Anyways, season four wasn't all bad. Chloe learned Clark's secret, but Clark doesn't know that she knows. We got the introduction of Lois Lane to the Smallville show, portrayed brilliantly by the actress Erica Durance. Although fans typically seemed to see this as a general "F.U." from all the creators at Smallville, essentially their way of throwing any fanboy's hope at something resembling the continuity of the comic books out the window. But I digress. Again. Lois is a great character and she adds a lot to the show, and I'm pumped that she's been officially added to the cast for the fifth season, which is what I was originally hear to talk about.

I think I was digressing a little bit by talking so much about season 4, but I digress. Season 4's finale had a kick@$$ setup. Another meteor shower hit Smallville. Clark went to the caves and was transported to the arctic...gee, I wonder why? Lana was in a helicopter crash and through the magic of being gorgeous and thus unkillable she survived, crawling away from the chopper to see (prepare to gasp) A HUGE@$$ SPACESHIP! GASP! And on top of that, Lionel Luthor has gone all white-eyed and comatose on us...but wait, are those Kryptonian symbols running through his eyes? Oh yeah, and the Kent farm got hit pretty damn bad by a meteor. But everyone knows they didn't die.

So onto the premiere. I guess the writers learned from their mistakes, because let me say this right now: only two episodes have aired so far, but already season 5 is better than all of season 4 put together. That's not really saying much, but trust me, these were good. So two Kryptonian bad@$$es (third time I have [not] said @$$ in case you were counting...Montas) emerge from the ship and wreak havoc across Smallville, looking for our boy Clark, who's a bit preoccupied at the moment, with...

THE FLIPPING FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE!!!

Yeah, it's straight outta the movies, John Williams theme and all, and it looks fantastic. I can't wait to see this set used in the future. Chloe stupidly followed Clark into the arctic and starts going all hypothermic, so Clark's gotta bounce outta that joint and zip over to the doc, so that chick can get defrosted. Wow, I am so slang-savvy. So in the midst of it all, Clark finds out that Chloe knows; it's a cool scene, blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (literally)...

Lois helps Ma and Pa Kent out of the rubble of their house and gets them to the doctor. Lana sees Lionel going SUPERcrazy scratching the floor with his finger nails. Then he grabs Lana and goes "THE DISCIPLES OF ZOD ARE COMING!! ONLY THEIR HOME [he's pointin' to the Kryptonite] CAN DEFEAT THEM!" Yeah, that kicked @$$ (5 times) if you were a comic-fan. Oh, and I forgot to say that Jor-El (Clark's real daddy, apparently still alive...somehow...i donno) said that if Clark didn't return to the Fortress by sundown, there'd be dire consequences or some other nonsense like that. So Clark ends up saving the day, courtesy of a Phantom Zone-imprisonment that comes straight outta Superman II (another kick@$$ [6 times] moment), but GASP it's sundown, so Clark loses his powers, courtesy of his supposed-to-be-dead-but-whose-voice(provided-by-Terence-Stamp-who-played-Zod-in-Superman-II)-lives-on-papa.

And that was the end of the premiere.

And there was much flipping out to be done.

And it was done.

And it was good.

So good.

But it only got better.

And I'm tired right now so I'll continue this later.

END PART ONE

But Rob will return again in....I donno, Part Two, I guess...

6 Comments:

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Blogger mewmewmew said...

I know you wrote this about 5 years ago, but I found this today! :) I am finishing the book right now and agree with you completely. Great book. They are making a movie of it due to come out in 2012...hopefully they don't mess it up!



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