"I bought myself a parrot that could talk, but it did not say 'I'm hungry', so it died."--Mitch Hedberg
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Saturday, November 12, 2005

Gone for Good.

Last night, as I was preparing for a party with a bunch of my friends, I happen to come across an Instant Message that one of my friends had left for me while I was away.

It said, quite simply: arrested development's been cancelled.

That's a sick joke, I thought. He was probably just trying to say something to catch my attention so that I would come back. Something like that, right?

Then I did some digging. Just to ease my mind.

And I learned the awful truth: FOX has not only cancelled the best show on television for good, but they won't even give it a full final season. The episode order has been cut back from a full 22 episodes to a measely 13, meaning that there are only eight remaining episodes. In the entire. @#$*ing. Series.

What a way to start a party, right?

I've been dreading this moment ever since I became an avid Arrested fan. It's always done poorly in the ratings department, despite the numerous awards and critical acclaim it has received. In the back of my mind, I guess I always really knew that this was going to happen: it wasn't a question of if, only a question of when.

Things didn't look good for the show when its episode order was reduced last season from 22 episodes to 18, but it still somehow managed to get a third season. And now..this. I knew I would be devastated, but I really had no idea how hard this news would hit me.

I know that almost anyone out there reading this thinks I'm overreacting. It's just a TV show, right? Who cares? There's some other pretty funny stuff on TV...this way, you'll have another half-hour free each week.

But that's not it. As incredibly lame as it sounds, Arrested Development was more than just a regular, run-of-the-mill TV show to me. I was obssessed. I was in love with each of the characters on the show. I will actually miss these fictional creations. I'll miss laughing hysterically at Tobias's unintentional double entendres, George Michael's awkwardness around his cousin Maeby, Michael's constant sarcasm, GOB's charmingly idiotic statements, and Buster's panic attacks, among many, many other things.

Arrested Development is the first show I've ever seen that has transcended the level of "just a TV show" to the point of becoming a serious part of my life. I adored every aspect of this show and refuse to let it go without a fight. I'll sign any petition you throw at me, write any letter to any big-name star or producer or studio, anything it takes to get this show back on the air.

And if in the end, it really does get cancelled for good? Then at least I'll be able to relive my time with the Bluth family over and over again, thanks to the magic of DVD.


God, I have no life.